Howdy! Yes I know there’s been a lack of reviews lately. I’ve been incredibly busy as of late so I do apologise. But do not fret your little head, for I can still update you on all the latest movie trailers!
1. Frontera:
Boy is this a good start to the week! Looks utterly remarkable.
2. The Anomaly:
From the highs of Frontera to the generic lows of The Anomaly…
3. Believe Me:
Doesn’t look brilliant, but I may see it just because it takes the piss out of Christianity!
4. Leprechaun: Origins:
Despite involving a classic horror icon, this desperate prequel looks as if it has not struck any pots of gold.
5. Dumb And Dumber To:
Everyone has been going ballistic over this trailer. To be honest, I don’t see why. Based on what I saw, I’m not all that excited for this film.
6. The Boxtrolls:
Looks fun, and knowing it was made by the same people as Coraline, this has definitely garnered some interest.
7. Sin City: A Dame To Kill For – Trailer 2:
WARNING: ANTICIPATED MOVIE. NO REVIEW.
8. Paddington:
Why do I feel as if my childhood is going to be partially ruined by this film?!
9. The Interview:
Seth Rogen is on a roll at the minute! This looks like another winner from him.
10. Penguins Of Madagascar:
Dreamworks Animation will seriously not let this franchise die, will they?
11. Home:
Rihanna is in this film –> 😦
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory) is in this film –> 😡
12. No Good Deed:
The only reason why I would be interested in seeing this is for Idris Elba! Seriously, that man has got chops!!!
13. Dolphin Tale 2 – Trailer 2:
“All we can do now is hope” “That’s her name” GRROOOAAAANNN!!!!
14. Heatstroke:
Don’t worry, this is not be confused with the atrocious 2008 film of the same name! This one actually looks cooler!!!
15. Witching And Bitching:
This is absurd, idiotic, and utterly ridiculous. And I’m not sure if I like it or not because of that…
16. Birdman:
This. Looks. Amazeballs!!!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is all the trailers that have been released in the past week! Tell me what you think of each trailer in the comments below. Tune in next week for all the latest movie trailers!
Welcome back my darlings! Here are all the latest trailers, brought to you on this fine Monday afternoon (hence the name!)
1. Ivory Tower – Education Documentary
I love education, but I loathe school systems and the way they are operated. This seems right up my alley!
2. Beneath:
The tag-line of this horror film is ‘Save Your Beneath’. If that’s not any indication for how bad this is gonna be, then I don’t know what is!
3. The Green Inferno – Trailer 2:
For a horror film, it looks like a cool concept. But knowing it’s Eli Roth, it’s advised that you get in the mood to watch torture porn before entering the theatre.
4. Very Good Girls:
I have to say, Very Good Girls does indeed look very good!
5. Made In America – Music Documentary:
It’s a documentary that involves Jay Z 😡
It’s a documentary directed by Ron Howard 😀
6. Hercules – Trailer 2:
Despite the film being about a powerful Greek god, this doesn’t look like the film will leave a strong(!) impression.
7. Love, Rosie – Teaser Trailer 3:
To Rosie, this film looks like sh*t on a kebab. Love, Fergie.
8. The Giver – Trailer 2:
Looks better than I thought it would be, but I am aware of the outcry from fans of the book so I think I will read the novel first. And the film comes out on my birthday! It’s not important to you but it is to me!!!
9. Lullaby:
Meh… Looks alright. Not sure if this tune will strike a chord with me.
10. Moon Indigo:
Surreal, high-spirited and insanely creative. Just how I like it! Someone buy me tickets!!!
11. Rage:
If Nicolas Cage isn’t screaming/shouting in an absurd manner in this film, then I’m not gonna be happy!
12. Sex Tape:
Unless you want to watch a 90 minute commercial for Apple, then there’s no point in watching this film!
13. The Best Of Me:
Sorry lads. Looks like another film your girlfriends are gonna drag you to the cinema to see! Thankfully, I don’t have a girlfriend! For once, being single is actually somewhat a positive thing… Weird.
14. Are You Here:
Thank heavens above! This is a comedy that actually looks good!!!
15. Step Up 5: All In:
If Hollywood would stop making idiotic dance movies, that would be greeeeaat. Brownie points to those that recognise the reference!
16. The November Man:
♫COOL GUYS DON’T LOOK AT EXPLOOOSIONS!!!♫ I really do have the voice of an angel!
17. Million Dollar Arm:
If you want to watch a funny, lighthearted, and inspirational flick, then this looks like it will fit the bill perfectly. Not sure if I’ll end up seeing it myself though.
18. Sharknado 2: The Second One – Teaser Trailer:
It’s a sequel to a film about shark infested tornados. What else can I say?!?!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is all the trailers that have been released in the past week! Tell me what you think of each trailer in the comments below. Tune in next week for all the latest movie trailers!
Holy bananas on a pine tree! There is a lot of trailers this week!!! Let’s see what Hollywood has to offer us this time:
1. Magic In The Moonlight:
What can I say? The trailer has cast a magical spell over me! I’m now really looking forward to it’s release date!
(Oh, I just want to point out that this trailer was actually released last week; it somehow slipped under my radar. But who cares?! Enjoy the trailer for crying out loud!!!)
2. This Is Where I Leave You:
This is pretty summed up by the last ‘joke’ in the trailer: generic, half assed and not worthy of my attention. But hey, it’s got a good cast!
3. Earth To Echo:
E.T. RIPOFF!!! There, I said it!
4. La Bare – Documentary
This is a documentary about male strippers. And I am a heterosexual. I think I’ve already said enough!
5. Snowpiercer:
I first heard about this in 2012 and I’ve heard nothing but issues regarding the film’s production. So I’m not sure on whether this will be as good as the trailer depicts, but then again look how World War Z turned out! Oh wait, that wasn’t that good either… Next trailer!
6. Annie – Trailer 2:
The first trailer didn’t impress me at all. This second trailer only serves to remind me how pointless this remake is in the first place!
7. The Book Of Life:
Aye aye aye! This doesn’t look all that great señor!!!
8. Kill The Messenger:
Is it just me or did that last line feel so shoehorned?! Other than that, looks decent. But I may just end up catching it on Netflix.
9. What If:
POTTER!!! What are doing trying to get out of the friend-zone with this blonde chick?! Does Ginny know about her?!?!
10. Korengal – War Documentary:
I don’t really need to say anything about this trailer; it’s a documentary on war. If you’re interested in that kind of stuff, then it looks very raw and insightful. If you’re not interested, no biggie. Yeah I know, a bit of an underwhelming response but I don’t care! Moving swiftly on…
11. Get On Up – Trailer 2:
Well, after watching the trailer for this James Brown biopic… I FEEEEELL GOOD!!!
12. A Walk Among The Tombstones:
It’s Liam Neeson opening a can of whoop ass!!! What’s not to love?!
13. The Art Of The Steal – International Trailer 2:
I have already had the displeasure of watching this film before it is released worldwide and you can read my review HERE. I think it’s safe to say that my opinions on the movie are very clear!
14. Left Behind:
Am I the only who keeps forgetting that Nicolas Cage has won an Oscar?! The only reason why I keep forgetting is because he keeps starring in stupid, absurd movies like this one!!!
15. Affluenza:
This trailer had my curiosity, and now the film has my attention. I understand that the reference and this film are in no way linked, but I like the quote so I’m using it!
16. Willow Creek:
Oh cool, it’s another horror movie! 😀
Oh, it’s another found footage movie… 😡
17. The Congress:
I am genuinely speechless. This looks unbelievable! Where can I buy tickets?!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is all the trailers that have been released in the past week! Tell me what you think of each trailer in the comments below. Tune in next week for all the latest movie trailers!
Jimbo is 13 and can think of only one girl — Sarah Jane. And no matter what stands in his way-bullies, violence, chaos, or zombies-nothing will stop him from finding a way into her world.
Full Review:
I am absolutely drained out from all of my exams. Never have I carried out so much revision in my life and I still have a few more exams to go! I am as exhausted as Rick Ross on a treadmill. So when it came to deciding what film to review this week, I thought to myself “What is the cinematic equivalent to how I feel at the minute?” And the answer? Zombies!!! But not just any zombie flick… A romantic zombie flick! The reason for this is because I’ve seen quite a few attractive ladies in the exam hall!!! There is always a reason.
Anyway, I Love Sarah Jane is a quirky and very gritty romantic drama that, ironically, has very humanistic characters and rather compelling dramatic friction between each of them. But at the end of the day, I feel the same way about this that I do about my recent Psychology exam: the bits that were done well were done REALLY well but overall could’ve been just a tad better.
I’ll start with what I liked. The characters. There is a healthy variety between each character’s personality; our lead is shy and timid, his love interest Sarah Jane (played by Mia Wasikowska!) is bitter and owns one hell of a foul mouth, and those around them resemble chavs that think they’re so cool but are actually weak as brittle. Visit North London if you want to know what I mean!They all behave and act just as they should in an dystopian apocalypse; sad, angry, and hopeless. And they interact accordingly too. Everyone’s nerves are slowly shredding and they are unsure of what to do with themselves for good reason: it’s the zombie apocalypse! In short, each character felt relatable, authentic, and deserving to be included in the film.
Of course, no character is made without a great actor behind them. And thankfully, the acting talent in this short is IN SPADES!!! BA DUM TSS! (if you’ve seen the film, you’ll understand that pun!). Mia Wasikowska (Alice In Wonderland, Lawless) stars in one of her early roles as the no-bullsh*t persona Sarah Jane, and you can absolutely tell she was gonna go places! She is lean, fierce and commands every scene she’s in. And even better, the boy who plays our adorably sympathetic lead Jimbo (Brad Ashby) adds a lot of much needed heart to the film. The other three characters all kind of feel the same as each other and there isn’t anything greatly unique with how they portray their characters, so they unfortunately don’t make such a grand contribution to the film as much as Ashby or Wasikowska.
On the other hand, the screenwriter contributes something of his own: substance. Even though this is technically a zombie film, the divine characters carry the most significance throughout which makes it more of a gripping drama in the vein of The Road and The Walking Dead rather than a guns-blazing shoot-em-up. The film cleverly uses the zombie theme only to assist and heighten the drama and increase the conflict between our characters.
Here’s your weekly fix of all the latest movie trailers!
By the way, I’ve been really busy for this past week so I’m not able to post full length reviews for each trailer like I normally would. However, I do have the time to write a simple “One Sentence Review”. Let’s get started!!!
1. Foxcatcher:
Holy batnipples, this looks unbelievable! Oscar worthy? Sure looks that way.
2. Guardians Of The Galaxy – Trailer 2:
WARNING: ANTICIPATED MOVIE. NO REVIEW!
3. Wish I Was Here:
Looks… fun. A bucket of light-hearted fun. Other than that… meh. I quite like the soundtrack though!
4. Hellion:
JESSE!!! What you doing fathering a young dirt bike racer?! We have to cook!!!
5. Happy Christmas:
‘Happy Christmas?’ More like ‘Pathetic & Not-Funny-In-The-Slightest Christmas’ am I right?! High five! No? Fine.
6. Life Itself – Rodger Ebert Documentary:
As a fan of Mr. Ebert, this will be one of the first documentaries I will be willing to sit through!
7. Kingsman: The Secret Service:
If X-Men: First Class met a B-Movie version of James Bond, this is probably the movie you would receive.
8. Disney’s Big Hero 6:
Get your guns ready: I hate Frozen. I know, I know! Calm down!!! So since this is from the same people (Disney), I’m not sure how to feel about this. At least it looks like my ears will be safe from any more torture!
9. The Equaliser:
What did you say? This doesn’t look awesome? Starts Timer
10. Clouds Of Sils Maria:
You’re probably thinking one of two things: either OBLIGATORY ASS SHOT!!! or KRISTEN STEWART IS SMILING!!!. And I have to say, both of these factors do make the film seem a lot more interesting! Besides that, just seems like a desperate attempt to win an award at Cannes!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is all the trailers that have been released in the past week! Tell me what you think of each trailer in the comments below. Tune in next week for all the latest movie trailers!
“Movie Trailer Monday” is where I will be talking about all of the latest trailers that have been released in the past week; sharing the trailers themselves so you can watch them for yourselves along with a brief discussion of my thoughts. I understand that there is a possibility that not every single trailer may be covered here simply because I either missed it or I don’t feel like it’s worthy of discussion (i.e TV spots)
And also remember that these are merely my views/opinions on these trailers; we all have different tastes and the ones laid out here are my own personal tastes, so you’re not obliged to agree with them. However, for my benefit, it is wise that you do agree with me!
Without further ado, let’s get crack-a-lackin’!!!
This Week’s Trailers:
1. The Riot Club
To be honest, when the trailer started I wasn’t really interested in this in the slightest. For the first minute or so, it seemed quite bland and I sensed it would be a painful drag to watch in the cinema. But as the trailer picked up pace, The Riot Club appears to be a nail-biting drama and looks set to deliver a strong message about social class, which is something worthy of my interest! Nothing really jumps out at me which makes me want to watch it immediately, since it shows signs of a fairly generic crime drama, but I am interested for the director attached (who’s previously directed One Day and An Education). Other than that, the trailer hasn’t got me super stoked for the film but I can tell that this definitely won’t be an eye-gouging experience.
2. Good People
Judging from the footage I’ve seen, this looks like a really intense drama dealing with morality issues and the thin line between greed and desperation, which is definitely pretty cool! Although appearing to be a slightly predictable ride, Good People is a film I’ll be keeping my eye on as time approaches closer to its September release. But I won’t be watching any more trailers since I have reason to believe it has laid out the entire plot!!! Massive shame, but I may still end up watching up someday.
3. The Hundred Foot Journey:
Imagine my face when I saw that Steven Spielberg is a producer for this film. And then imagine that same face after I saw that Oprah Winfrey was producing too! Here’s a visualisation:
😀 –>
Despite that, The Hundred Foot Journey seems to be an uplifting, heartfelt joyride… that doesn’t interest me in the slightest. I’ve never understood the fascination with food; I eat whatever’s in the fridge plain and simple! If it tastes good then that’s just grand. I don’t analyse the taste or express the emotions that have been ignited by some bloody curry! But then again, I have no interest in Formula One racing and I ended up loving Ron Howard’s Rush. However, this and Rush are two completely different films in terms of tone, so I can’t really defend this movie adaption of Richard C. Morais’s best-selling novel based on that fact. But I can tell that this has beautiful cinematography just through seeing a minuscule two second clip at 1:22. That shot is simply masterful! And if I’m honest, that’s the only reason I would feel in any way inclined to watch this. That and Helen Mirren’s ridiculously stereotypical French accent!
4. Transformers: Age Of Extinction – Trailer 2
Sigh. Another Transformers film, another trailer. If you know me personally, you’re aware I’m not the greatest fan of the Transformers franchise for their lack of cohesive storytelling and the abundance of idiotic (for lack of a better term) Michael Bay-isms. But hey, maybe this will be the game changer that gives fans and movie goers what they deserve. But no. This looks pretty much the same. In fact no, it doesn’t “pretty much” look the same; it looks exactly like the same old bullsh*t!!! Explosions upon explosions, cities being destroyed, frail-women-who-we-don’t-care-about-but-we-should screaming at the mass destruction. It’s all here as you’ve come to expect! The only thing these films have going for them is the CGI and the action which is, although mindless, a real bucket of fun. In conclusion, if I wish to devour a bag of popcorn while switching off my brain for two hours, this is probably the film I’ll be watching!
5. V/H/S Viral:
What. The. Flying. Bajeezus. Did. I. Just. Watch?! Seriously, the editor of this trailer should be fired! It was so all over the place I could barely tell what was going on! You could argue that’s a good thing since it doesn’t spoil anything, but I guarantee nearly every scare has been spoilt in this trailer!!! They’ve managed to stuff so much into 90 seconds I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true. As many of you are aware, V/H/S is an anthology of (supposedly) scary tidbits that have STARTLED (NOT SCARED!) audiences since 2012. It has remarkably been expanded into a trilogy, moulding a thrill-seeking-teenager’s wet dream and annoying the sh*t out of me through it’s painful use of found-footage style of filming. Based on my experiences with the previous films, I think I’ll pass.
6. Deliver Us From Evil:
That’s right, two horror movie trailers in one week! And yes, this is the 439th horror to be inspired by true events!!! And with it being a horror, it obviously has to be about possession! If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not too fond of horror as a genre; it really has seemed to drop down in quality film after film since the early 2000’s rehashing the same ideas over and over again. But despite this, I always remain open minded with every horror film I see since I am bound to find a gem among the rubble sooner or later. And in 2012, I found a massive ruby with Sinister which, although it’s foundations consisted of generic and overused plot devices, was devilishly creepy and disturbing. Good news for me: Deliver Us From Evil is directed by the same guy, who has also directed the nerve tingling Exorcism Of Emily Rose. I haven’t seen the film yet, but I already need to change my bed sheets!
7. Cinderella – Teaser Trailer:
Here we go again! Yet another re-telling of a popular fairy tale. The next victim of this ridiculous ‘trend’ is Cinderella, with Kenneth Branaugh (Hamlet, Thor) at the helm. I can’t really say much else than that since this is only a teaser trailer! Clocking in at roughly one minute and 15 seconds, this is essentially a showcase for how beautiful the CGI is going to be! I am aware that recent Oscar winner Cate Blanchett is starring… so… there’s that. Let’s just move on, shall we?
8. Monsters: Dark Continent – Giant Sand Bugs Trailer
Having not seen the first film before, I am however aware of the rave reviews that Monsters received when it was released. If a film is so good that it lands director Gareth Edwards a job in making the new Godzilla film, then it’s gotta be a must watch!!! However, this new (and somewhat pointless) sequel is not being directed by Mr. Edwards therefore I’m not as interested but still remain optimistic. As the trailer showed scenes involving NO monsters for roughly a minute, I was really starting to lose interest fast! I seriously thought I clicked on a trailer for a Hurt Locker knock-off. But then… GIANT F*CKING SAND BUGS CAME ON SCREEN!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! Sorry, I’ll try to remain professional. In all seriousness, I like how short this trailer since it doesn’t reveal anything of critical importance, but what I don’t like is the image this film puts across. It appears as if this entire film takes place on a single military base, and in my opinion that makes the film very restrictive with what they cannot achieve. With the first Monsters, they’re travelling across an entire country for crying out loud! Until I see more, I remain quite skeptical.
9. Interstellar:
I have arguably saved the best to last. But the thing is, I don’t know if this is the best trailer out of this week’s round-up, simply because *I haven’t watched it! Christopher Nolan, who’s directed my number one movie ever The Dark Knight (see review HERE) is one of, if not my all time, favourite directors working today; everything he’s done is solid movie gold that has, in one way or another, redefined modern cinematic experience. With this in mind, it’s safe to say that this is my most anticipated film of 2014 therefore I do not wish to see any footage in fear of spoiling myself. Despite hearing that this trailer shows no major plot details, I really don’t view trailers the same way after the outrageous promotion for The Amazing Spider-Man 2. So for the time being I have no intention of watching the trailer, but even without seeing anything from the film, I can already predict that this is gonna be spectacular!
*This may occur a lot if I’m super excited for a specific film, so instead of explaining my reasons for why I haven’t watched the trailer I’m meant to be reviewing, I will label it with the tag “WARNING: ANTICIPATED MOVIE. NO REVIEW!” so you know that I’m desperately trying to avoid the film’s promotional campaign!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is all the trailers that have been released in the past week! Tell me what you think of each trailer in the comments below. Tune in next week for all the latest movie trailers!
A vaudevillian’s act involving the juggling of dogs is no longer a hit. He and his partner must face a brutal villain and assorted obstacles in order to secure their future.
Full Review:
Last week, I discussed the very under-rated action film Collateral (see review HERE). So, I thought it would be fitting to talk about a fairly under-rated short film. And to go the extra mile, an under-rated animated short film! After winning the BAFTA for Best Animated Short in 1997, Stage Fright has sort of faded away into the fog produced by modern day CGI animated films. With this in mind, it brings me the (somewhat) pleasure to reintroduce this quirky, dark tale from yesteryear.
To begin, let’s get the obvious out the way. This is beautifully animated. Produced by Aardman, who are responsible for classic animated films such as Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run, the use of stop motion is stupendously executed and is utterly seamless. You may not know this, but I’m a HUUUGE fan of claymation; it is obvious how much work goes into making these types of films and I’m astounded each and every time this studio produces something that exceeds my expectations of what they can achieve. Although this was made in 1997, it is somewhat refreshing to see this type of animation put to use in a midst of CGI.
And I’m kind of glad this was made in 1997 as opposed to modern day. Why? Because chances are this would’ve got shunned out almost immediately by modern day audiences. The gothic themes that are being expressed are out of the norm for most animations which makes it stand out more than it would without. Also, it was very wise for the writers to set the film during Vaudeville times since it doesn’t make these gothic themes seem out of place nor unneccesary; they fit perfectly into the short and even lend themselves to create a stunning scene at the end. There’s another reason why they set the film during this time period, which acts as a minor subplot (which I’ll touch upon in a minute), but I’m glad they took advantage of this era to give us some delicious visuals.
Despite the film being under-rated, I feel this is under-rated for a specific reason. Particularly because it isn’t all that great!!! The film has several issues which mainly relate to the overall narative and the sub-par character development. I should say beforehand that I understand that it is much more difficult to make the audience feel for the characters through such a small space of time, considering that feature length have a runtime of two hours to fully flesh out their characters. But Aardman have been quite successful in this area in their previous short films, especially Wallace & Gromit and their TV series Creature Comforts, so it’s a bit of a shock to the system that these characters don’t deserve 12 minutes of my time in the slightest.
First off, the protagonist doesn’t do anything worthwhile. He just mopes and doesn’t really do anything significant; his only purpose is to trigger sympathy in the audience. His predictament is understandable and definitely relatable to some but as a character he just isn’t cutting it. Off to the dog basket you go!!! His stage partner had a bit more interesting devleopment behind her, but her voice was so annoying! It just bothered me since she narrates part of the film and it unfortunately did not work at all, and it didn’t really seem as if she was putting in a lot of effort to give the best performance she could; it just came across as painfully monotone. Finally, the villain. Good lord, this is a generic villain. He has no reason to act the way he does; he’s just evil for the sake of it. Hell, his appearance looks evil purely because they could animate someone of that design! The worst kind of villain is one without any purpose, and unfortunately the villain is not the only character in this short that serves little to no purpose; it’s the entire cast.
I mentioned how there were a few narrative issues, specifically the lack of completeness for some of the story’s sub-plots, including the one I was eluding to earlier. The story deals with our characters transitioning between the age of theatre to the age of cinema. Unfortunately, the conflict and drama that occurs because of this only lasts for approximately two minutes. After that, it sort of meanders in the background like a passer-by foolishly waving behind a news reporter. It appears to focus more time on developing the friction between our protagonist (who’s by no means a hero!) and our antagonist (who’s by no means a villain!). But the trouble is, this friction isn’t interesting. The gist of the main conflict of the film is that the protagonist is annoyed of taking orders from the antagonist. That’s it!!! Stage Fright doesn’t try to go beyond a fairly dull humanistic conflict, which makes me question why it wasn’t a live action short when it very easily could’ve been.
It’s a shame to see a misfire from Aardman Studios since part of my childhood was formed by watching their films. So with that in mind, I’m sort of glad I missed this since it would leave me feeling down for weeks on end and cautiously tearing apart my movie loving innocence. I mean, it isn’t awful. But it definitely isn’t anything of substance. It’s quite forgettable and, with the exception of one scene, doesn’t really win you over with what’s being projected on screen.
Fergie’s Final Fifteen:
Delightful animation that pleases the eye, but doesn’t help you forget about major overall issues.
I didn’t hate this short film but it could’ve been a hell of a lot better, especially for an award winning short. Luckily, Aardman have a vast choice of shorts and feature length films that are more memorable than this one so, although you won’t gouge your eyes out with Stage Fright, I suggest you check out those instead.
If you still want to check it out, you can do so by watching the video below:
A cab driver (Jamie Foxx) finds himself the hostage of an engaging contract killer (Tom Cruise) as he makes his rounds from hit to hit during one night in Los Angeles. He must find a way to save both himself and one last victim.
Also starring Jada Pinkett Smith and Mark Ruffolo.
Directed by Michael Mann, written by Stuart Beattie.
Official Trailer:
Full Review:
After the atrocities of The Art Of The Steal, which was my last feature film review (read it HERE), I bring to you Collateral in all of it’s guns-blazing glory. And to be fully honest, this may come as a surprise but, this is actually one of my favourite action films of all time. Why? Read the bloody review! But essentially, I love it because of it’s simplicity, meaningful characters, and unforgettable bad-ass action sequences! Allow me to elaborate on all of these points:
Just to clarify, the reason why I thought the fact that Collateral is my favourite action flick may be surprising is because, in my opinion, it’s quite underrated! You hardly see it among many Top 10 lists and it’s not lauded as a modern cinematic masterpiece either. Granted it isn’t a masterpiece, but I believe that it’s so damn good it has become incredibly hard for me to ignore ever since my first viewing. And since then, I’ve re-watched the holy bajeezus out of this and I’m ready to give you my thoughts in full!
First off, this is exactly how action should be filmed. You won’t see any stupid shaky cam, where it’s so vigorous you can’t even make out any details in the scene. Instead, director Michael Mann (Heat, The Insider) treats you with clear, crisp action that’s intense and fast paced, which successfully grips you tightly and shows no signs of letting go. And better yet, it is astoundingly brutal and feels real. Unlike Rambo or Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the set pieces aren’t over the top nor are they specifically designed to boost your testosterone. Each sequence serves to lure us to the extreme edges of our seats as well as enhancing character development and progressing the tricky predicament they find themselves in.
Whilst I’m on the topic of characters, the ones in Collateral are fully fleshed out and are actually interesting! Throughout the film, you are intrigued by Tom Cruise’s (Top Gun, Jerry Maguire) character Vincent & his elusive background, and you feel incredibly sympathetic towards Max who is played by Jamie Foxx (Ray, Django Unchained). Both characters are played extraordinarily by their respective actors as you’d expect from these two mighty fine gentlemen. In fact, the acting was so good, The Academy even offered Foxx an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his sublime performance!
And I have to say that I was shocked that Cruise didn’t get the same treatment since this is genuinely the best performance of his career. End of.. He’s not just a set of cheekbones in this film; he’s meticulous, commanding, and is absolutely hellbent throughout. For someone who doesn’t usually play this kind of role, Cruise is in complete control from start to finish. You could even call it ‘Cruise Control’!!! No? Let’s move on…
From directing to acting, let’s talk about the writing. Stuart Beattie (Pirates Of The Caribbean, G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra) writes a terrific screenplay despite not having the best of track records. The dialogue is engaging when the film switches from bullets upon bullets to serious drama that, although allows you to breathe between action scenes, reels you even more through further character development. And as I said at the beginning of the review, this is a film that’s very simple in concept and in execution. A killer is escorted around town by a taxi driver being held hostage. Done! That’s all you need to know about the plot. There isn’t a ton of sub-plots or hidden meanings you need to worry about, therefore your overall experience is a lot more engrossing. And of course, as mentioned previously, the characters are written with such depth it really adds a lot more substance to an otherwise generic plot.
Speaking of generic, that’s probably my only complaint. At times, the story seems a bit reciprocal in how it all unfolds. Particularly the third act, the film will feel reminiscent of other similar (but not as fascinating) action films. But nevertheless, I wasn’t bothered by this the first time round simply because I was so invested in the film I didn’t think much of it. You know you’ve got a good film when you can make an audience member shut up and forget about any evident problems purely through what’s being shown on screen! Despite seeming familiar, it’s execution is fierce and unlike anything you’ve seen beforehand.
Collateral is not only a tense thrill ride, it’s an intriguing story that revolves around people. Wait… a film that focuses on characters?! Preposterous! That’s uncommon amongst most action films! Trust me mate, that’s a plus point about this film; not so much for Hollywood! This is an atmospheric noir sensation that is as exciting as it is compelling. It has somewhat undeservedly flown under the radar over the years, so don’t let it shoot past you if you haven’t seen it already.
Fergie’s Final Fifteen:
Visceral and thrilling action, with engaging drama and intriguing characters. An under-rated tour de force.
Rating:
A
Guys, if you’d be so kind, I need you to share this review to your friends, family, neighbours, strangers, pets, sex slaves, ex girlfriend’s mother, and many more people! We need to bring this film back into popularity and make it worth talking about!!! Sure, it seems unlikely given the fact that this is, as of yet(!), a small scale blog but we need determination and dedication. And besides, sharing this for the sake of it would be helpful too; it would make my day!
Oh, and one more thing. I’m not sorry for the pun in the title. If anything, I’m very proud of it!
Heavenly Father, I ask upon you to update the readers of the Fergie Films blog. Pretty please!
Yes, this is out of the norm, especially when you consider that I’m an atheist! So if you’re around to read the latest review, then you’ve come on the wrong day; come back on Sunday. In fact, no! Don’t leave!! This news affects you lot too, so keep reading!! This is is a one off post that I like to call: Stuff-That-I-Think-Is-Important-But-It-Really-Isn’t-But-A-Full-Length-Blog-Post-Will-Be-Made-Nevertheless-So-Shut-Up-It’s-My-Blog-Wait-Sorry-I-Didn’t-Mean-That-Come-Back-To-Me-Darling-I-Beg-Of-You. Phew! That’s a big mouthful that even Kim Kardashian couldn’t handle!! Long story short, this is just a small update regarding how the blog is going to be run and how reviews are going to be posted. And for some reason, I thought I would post this update in the style of the infamous Ten Commandments. Why? Because I feel like it! Shall we get started? I think we shall!
Commandment I: Thou Shall Not Rate Short Films
From now on, short film reviews will NOT receive a rating at the end of the review. I’ve found that most popular short films are above average in terms of quality; they’re popular for a good reason! And most of the bad short films are very clearly done by amateur yet aspiring filmmakers, so it wouldn’t be fair to completely trash all their hard work. This change may also be implemented into my feature length film reviews as well but for the time being, they are safe.
The main reason for this change is because of a video I saw by one of my favourite YouTuber’s NerdCubed, who voices his views on rating scores and rants about why they are bullsh*t! It really resonated with me and deserves to be checked out. You can watch the video via the link below (skip to 2:01)
Commandment II: Thou Shall Post Reviews Twice Weekly
Remember that poll I posted last week? The results of said poll were quite evident that you wanted to see more reviews posted on the blog. And to be honest, I kind of agree! I’m not reviewing as many full length films as I would like to (due to time constraints) and I’m getting pretty tired of having to rely on short films since I know without a doubt nine out of ten times it’s gonna be good. So I will now be posting TWO reviews per week! I seriously wish I can implement this change with immediate effect, but unfortunately I can’t. It’s exam season at the minute and I want to focus as much of my attention and time to making sure I do the best I can. But guaranteed, after the 3rd June, this change will be in full swing.
Commandment III: Thou Shall Post Reviews On Fridays and On God’s Day Of Rest (Sunday)
As you’ve read above, reviews will still be posted on Sunday but the second weekly review will be posted on Friday. Simple enough! I don’t really need to say anything else about this!! Next commandment…
Commandment IV: Thou Shall Fathom An Abundance Of Trailer Reviews
Albeit, I wasn’t a huge fan of the original concept of my trailer reviews, which is why I don’t do them more often. But I still want to share all the latest trailers with you guys, since I know a gem of a film can have a trailer released in the same week as the next mindless action blockbuster, and undeservedly get overshadowed by it. So what I want to do is post something on Mondays which I call “Movie Trailer Mondays” where I link you guys through to all of the trailers that have been released in the past week. Along with the links, I will also provide a two to three sentence summary of my thoughts of each trailer. The first article in this, for lack of a better term, ‘segment’ will be posted on May 19th.
Commandment V: Thou Shall Encourage Servants To Follow Thy Lord On Twitter
Okay okay, this isn’t a change to the blog but it is appreciated! Seriously, if you guys follow me on Twitter I will be posting content I won’t be posting on the blog (i.e. latest movie news, an absurd amount of puns and jokes, among other wacky shenanigans). And Twitter is the place to be if you guys want to recommend some films for me to review. In fact, I urge you guys to recommend some films for three reasons: –> I love discovering new films
–> I want to know what my readers would like to see reviewed
–> Some weeks, I have no idea what to review, so you’d be helping out!
And if we as a small loving community conjure up enough interaction between one another, I would like to put the power in your hands, where you decide what I should review after I’ve given you two potential films as voting options. So what are you waiting for?! Oh, you’re waiting for the link to my twitter aren’t you? In that case, here it is! https://www.twitter.com/FergieFilms
Well there you go! That’s all the important updates you need to know for now!! Stay tuned for Sunday where a new review will be posted as always.
*There isn’t a poster, so I thought this would make a good substitution!
Plot Synopsis:
What happens when a Captain and his crew take the star ship out for a joyride while drunk? Find out in this cinematic experiment involving an entirely drunk cast and crew.
Official Short:
Full Review:
May the 4th be with you! Yes that’s right. It’s officially Star Wars Day today and what better way to celebrate than reviewing a short film about drunk people! The five minute short features elements of the Star Wars universe so I thought this would be incredibly fitting for the occasion. However, I know some of you will complain and rip into me about how there are elements from bitter rivals Star Trek that are being used in the video. To which I say… Star Trek and Star Wars now have the same director! So it shouldn’t matter!! So, let’s shoot this review into warp speed and get started!
I shouldn’t have to point this out, but you definitely should not take this seriously in the slightest. I mean, with the name of Star Drunk, you’d be stupid to treat this with the same seriousness as a film about the tragedies of World War II. The main niche of the film is that all the actors on screen are (allegedly) drunk and that the script was written while the writers were under the influence. With this in mind, it’s easy to assume that this isn’t gonna be like any other short you’ve seen this year. And it definitely isn’t!
The reason for this is because, unlike other shorts, this film has no narrative structure whatsoever! It is so loosely put together and many scenes and small moments are incredibly insignificant and out of place; it can be irritating to the die hard film fan. But that’s why this is comedic genius! It somehow manages to satirise Sci-Fi as a genre and wonderfully succeeds in doing so, despite having little to no set-up for their jokes.
In fact, these aren’t even jokes. These are just moments moulded by atrocious writing and overdone acting which come across as funny. It’s exactly the reason why films like The Room are so funny; it’s so obviously horrendous we respond with laughter instead of hate. And yet, I wouldn’t say this is “So Bad, It’s Good”. It wasn’t trying to be good in the first place, knowing that the actors were intoxicated while filming. Because of this, what we receive at the end of the day is ludicrous cinema and downright absurdity but you’ll always find the funny side no matter how you look at it.
I don’t really have much else to say about this. It is what it is; a stupid YouTube video!. But the fact that this is a ‘stupid YouTube video’ is why it’s so enjoyable. Nothing like this would ever be produced by Hollywood studios for the simple reason that they want success and good quality content. Unfortunately Hollywood doesn’t always get what it wants, but they will strive for it by any means necessary. The beauty of this is that we’re exposing ourselves to a kind of humour that wouldn’t have been touched upon if it wasn’t for the existence of the internet and the abundance of memes and Vine videos. When Hollywood are unable to satisfy our sense of humour, we as a society will turn to the inter-webs to reinvigorate the feeling of laughter that we lost during our viewing of Movie 43!
Out of all the videos you can watch on YouTube and out of all the (short) films you can watch on Star Wars Day, make it this one. It’s painfully hilarious and, although sloppy in narrative, delightful on every level imaginable. But if you want to re-watch the original Star Wars trilogy for the 37th time, then be my guest; it’s probably what I’ll end up doing! Or better yet, take your copies of the prequels and burn them! Six children will be saved for every DVD of The Phantom Menace that is burned around the world. Please make this a tradition for every Star Wars Day!
Fergie’s Final Fifteen:
Beyond idiotic, but ridiculously funny and full of hilarious absurdity. This is why YouTube exists!
I’m not going to rate the video since I wouldn’t know how to! Like I said, this is it’s own thing! Let us embrace it!! There’s actually another reason why I won’t rate it but I’m gonna save that for another post. But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy your day of cosplaying, and pretending to swish light-sabres while you actually swing a very old broomstick!
FERGIE FILMS 