(Michael) Man(n), This Is A Great Action Film!!! // Collateral Review

Plot Synopsis:

A cab driver (Jamie Foxx) finds himself the hostage of an engaging contract killer (Tom Cruise) as he makes his rounds from hit to hit during one night in Los Angeles. He must find a way to save both himself and one last victim.
Also starring Jada Pinkett Smith and Mark Ruffolo.

Directed by Michael Mann, written by Stuart Beattie.

Official Trailer:

Full Review:

After the atrocities of The Art Of The Steal, which was my last feature film review (read it HERE), I bring to you Collateral in all of it’s guns-blazing glory. And to be fully honest, this may come as a surprise but, this is actually one of my favourite action films of all time. Why? Read the bloody review! But essentially, I love it because of it’s simplicity, meaningful characters, and unforgettable bad-ass action sequences! Allow me to elaborate on all of these points:

Just to clarify, the reason why I thought the fact that Collateral is my favourite action flick may be surprising is because, in my opinion, it’s quite underrated! You hardly see it among many Top 10 lists and it’s not lauded as a modern cinematic masterpiece either. Granted it isn’t a masterpiece, but I believe that it’s so damn good it has become incredibly hard for me to ignore ever since my first viewing. And since then, I’ve re-watched the holy bajeezus out of this and I’m ready to give you my thoughts in full!

First off, this is exactly how action should be filmed. You won’t see any stupid shaky cam, where it’s so vigorous you can’t even make out any details in the scene. Instead, director Michael Mann (Heat, The Insider) treats you with clear, crisp action that’s intense and fast paced, which successfully grips you tightly and shows no signs of letting go. And better yet, it is astoundingly brutal and feels real. Unlike Rambo or Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the set pieces aren’t over the top nor are they specifically designed to boost your testosterone. Each sequence serves to lure us to the extreme edges of our seats as well as enhancing character development and progressing the tricky predicament they find themselves in.

Whilst I’m on the topic of characters, the ones in Collateral are fully fleshed out and are actually interesting! Throughout the film, you are intrigued by Tom Cruise’s (Top Gun, Jerry Maguire) character Vincent & his elusive background, and you feel incredibly sympathetic towards Max who is played by Jamie Foxx (Ray, Django Unchained). Both characters are played extraordinarily by their respective actors as you’d expect from these two mighty fine gentlemen. In fact, the acting was so good, The Academy even offered Foxx an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his sublime performance!

And I have to say that I was shocked that Cruise didn’t get the same treatment since this is genuinely the best performance of his career. End of.. He’s not just a set of cheekbones in this film; he’s meticulous, commanding, and is absolutely hellbent throughout. For someone who doesn’t usually play this kind of role, Cruise is in complete control from start to finish. You could even call it ‘Cruise Control’!!! No? Let’s move on…

From directing to acting, let’s talk about the writing. Stuart Beattie (Pirates Of The Caribbean, G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra) writes a terrific screenplay despite not having the best of track records. The dialogue is engaging when the film switches from bullets upon bullets to serious drama that, although allows you to breathe between action scenes, reels you even more through further character development. And as I said at the beginning of the review, this is a film that’s very simple in concept and in execution. A killer is escorted around town by a taxi driver being held hostage. Done! That’s all you need to know about the plot. There isn’t a ton of sub-plots or hidden meanings you need to worry about, therefore your overall experience is a lot more engrossing. And of course, as mentioned previously, the characters are written with such depth it really adds a lot more substance to an otherwise generic plot.

Speaking of generic, that’s probably my only complaint. At times, the story seems a bit reciprocal in how it all unfolds. Particularly the third act, the film will feel reminiscent of other similar (but not as fascinating) action films. But nevertheless, I wasn’t bothered by this the first time round simply because I was so invested in the film I didn’t think much of it. You know you’ve got a good film when you can make an audience member shut up and forget about any evident problems purely through what’s being shown on screen! Despite seeming familiar, it’s execution is fierce and unlike anything you’ve seen beforehand.

Collateral is not only a tense thrill ride, it’s an intriguing story that revolves around people. Wait… a film that focuses on characters?! Preposterous! That’s uncommon amongst most action films! Trust me mate, that’s a plus point about this film; not so much for Hollywood! This is an atmospheric noir sensation that is as exciting as it is compelling. It has somewhat undeservedly flown under the radar over the years, so don’t let it shoot past you if you haven’t seen it already.

Fergie’s Final Fifteen:

Visceral and thrilling action, with engaging drama and intriguing characters. An under-rated tour de force.

Rating:

A

Guys, if you’d be so kind, I need you to share this review to your friends, family, neighbours, strangers, pets, sex slaves, ex girlfriend’s mother, and many more people! We need to bring this film back into popularity and make it worth talking about!!! Sure, it seems unlikely given the fact that this is, as of yet(!), a small scale blog but we need determination and dedication. And besides, sharing this for the sake of it would be helpful too; it would make my day!

Oh, and one more thing. I’m not sorry for the pun in the title. If anything, I’m very proud of it!

 

Terrible Title, Terrible Movie, Terrible Everything // The Art Of The Steal Review

Warning: This film is disastrously bad. To fully get my point across, this review contains strong language and mature content. Parent discretion is advised. Now enjoy the review bitches!!

Plot Synopsis:

Crunch Calhoun (Kurt Russell), a semi-reformed art thief, agrees to get his old gang back together to pull off one last heist. Also starring Matt Dillon, Jay Baruchel, Kenneth Welsh, and Katherine Winnick.

Official Trailer:

Full Review:

Although this already came out last year in America (as a limited release), The Art Of The Steal is set to be released to the UK on June 20th. And I had the divine opportunity to watch this before anyone else in the UK (Thank you torrent sites!!). Because of this, my responsibility to advise you guys on what films to watch has just increased significantly, therefore I’m just gonna spit it out. This is a cinematic representation of herpes. To call this a bad film would be like calling Hitler a prick; it just isn’t enough! I’m glad and, at the same time, ashamed to know about this film. Ashamed because of how awful it is, but glad because I get to rant about it to you guys!! Let’s get stuck in, shall we?!

You know how it goes; I talk about the good points before the bad points so I shall try to succumb myself to giving this film any credit. I will admit that the cinematography of the film is pretty nice; each scene has a distinctive look and feel and many shots are fluidly choreographed and executed. But remember, don’t judge a book by it’s cover! Another aspect that the film succeeds in is establishing some enjoyable chemistry between the two Interpol officers in the film (played by Jason Jones and Terrence Stamp). They are the exact polar opposites of one another and without a doubt contribute the best moments throughout the entire runtime through their banter and arguing.

But realistically… that’s it! The Art Of The Steal fails dramatically in every other department to the point of cringeworthy. Honest to God, this film has B-Class movie written all over it, and it’s not even that good of a B-Class movie. If anything, it’s an Z-Class!! In fact, this film has riled me up so much this will be my first uncensored review, filled to the brim with ‘F This’ and ‘F That’ amongst other curse words and insults aimed directly to everyone involved in this production. So without further ado, let’s fucking get started already!!!

Let’s go from the ‘I Let It Slide’ issues to the issues that had me screaming ‘Fuck A Duck You Piece Of Shit!!’ at the TV screen. Firstly, the acting is surprisingly sub-par. Hollywood big name Kurt Russell (The Thing, Death Proof) and Oscar nominee Matt Dillon (Crash, Nothing But The Truth) try their very best to give a good performance but unfortunately the material they are given is as poor as Nibbles the rat, and the direction from Jonathan Sobol (who also wrote the film) doesn’t stretch the actors to their full potential.

The second issue is the atrocious pacing. Luckily, the film finds a rhythm of some kind later on in the film but this is still a glaring issue during the first half. Within the first 20 minutes, the film has outlined a 5 1/2 year timeline, bounced back and forth between 5 different countries and very aptly introduced 10 characters. I don’t know about you, but that’s a lot of information to take in within 20 minutes!! And frankly, I couldn’t tell what was happening; I couldn’t keep up with any of the details at all and when I thought I’ve got a hang of it, our characters are smuggling themselves into fucking Detroit!! The fact that this issue isn’t the worst problem with the film should be a forewarning to those who are still on the fence about watching this.

Because some of you may think that even if the film is this bad that surely, with a wacky premise such as the one being showcased, the film has the potential to be mindless fun nevertheless. But nope. This is as boring as Victoria Beckham’s pout. Mainly due to the nonsensical narrative, there is nothing in The Art Of The Steal that captivated me and made me care about the characters and their dilemmas. There is a lack of action sequences, which is kind of expected for a film of this kind, and the film heavily relies on conversation and dialogue to keep you interested. And ultimately, the film falls flat on its face because of this.

Why? Because the writing is abysmal!! Many moments are absurdly generic and cliché, including a couple ‘Race Against Time’ sequences which you have no doubt seen before in other heist films. This makes the movie incredibly predictable and pain-inducing for the film fanatic. And what’s worse is the dialogue. The dialogue is corny and each line comes across as those discarded from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. You can tell that the film thinks it is funny and witty but it definitely is not. Far from it.

Speaking of the sense of humour, it is the worst I’ve seen in a while. Where Martin Scorsese’s latest masterpiece The Wolf Of Wall Street (see review HERE) has genius and downright hilarious humour, The Art Of The Steal looks like a drama compared to every other successful comedy. There are so many moments where the atmosphere in the room was tainted by the horrific jokes and quips. Even the jokes that have a big build up are just not worth it and other ‘funny’ moments translate to me as precariously attempting to induce a few chuckles from the audience via sexual references and foul mouthed language.

THEY EVEN RELY ON A GIANT FUCKING VAGINA TO MAKE US LAUGH!!!

If I haven’t made it all that clear, avoid this movie at all costs! It’s atrocious, pitiful, and a disgrace to cinema. The Art Of The Steal is essentially a poor man’s version of a Guy Ritchie film, so with that in mind don’t waste your time with this abomination and instead watch a quality crime/comedy film such as the stupendous Snatch or even the ludicrous Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Don’t even take up space on your computer by illegally downloading this visual piece of fecal matter and instead live your life to the fullest. But hey, at least the cinematography is nice!

Fergie’s Final Fifteen:

Little to no redeeming factors make this a cinematic tradegy. Not recommended in the slightest.

Rating:

E+

Despite loathing the film, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this review!! Hopefully you thoroughly enjoyed reading this review and if you did, please share it with your friends so there’s no chance any innocent human being will be tortured at the hands of Kurt Russell.

 

My First Review! // The Dark Knight

Plot Synopsis:

In this sequel to the critically acclaimed Batman Begins, Batman/Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) raises the stakes in his war on crime. With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) and District Attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), Batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague the city streets. The partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of Gotham as The Joker (Heath Ledger). Also starring Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman.

Official Trailer:

Full Review:

Before I begin this review, I would like to explain why I chose to look at The Dark Knight for the blog’s first ever review. The reason is that this will be one of the easiest films for me to review. Why? Because there’s nothing to pick apart. NOTHING!. This is genuinely one of the few perfect films in the history of cinema. WHOA! “That’s a really bold statement” I hear most of you cry. I understand it’s something that can twist several knots in a lot of people’s panties, but I stand by it completely and I’m here to back up why I think it cannot be improved upon.

Directed by Christopher Nolan (Memento, Inception), The Dark Knight is yet another Batman film. This was the seventh Batman movie to be released in the uber-successful franchise and the second of which to feature The Joker as the villain. Oscar winning actor Jack Nicholson (The Shining, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest) played the clown prince of crime originally in the Tim Burton gothic flick simply titled Batman, released in 1989. So what exactly does The Dark Knight have to offer? A superhero story which pushes all the boundaries and completely obliterates the mould of modern comic book movies. It’s also completely different to the atrocious (but hilarious) Batman And Robin, which is definitely a plus!

The first major strength of this film is the script. My god, this is exactly how a script should be written! The story is woven together so well, it flows like the beverage you bought in the foyer being slurped up by the straw. And every line of dialogue spoken just feels so right. Every word has a purpose; not one fragment of the script is wasted on anything we know already; something so many screenplays suffer from. Speaking of the dialogue (Ha! Get it?! Speaking? Dialogue! … never-mind), this screenplay is responsible for some truly memorable quotes which I always try to slip into conversation, including the infamous question posed by Ledger’s character “Why So Serious?”. Each letter that drips out of the character’s mouths is pure movie gold.

The acting is great all around as well, as you expect from such a top notch cast. Christian Bale really gives depth to the character of Bruce Wayne; pulling off the egotistical side of him in a sublime manner and the broken, damaged side of him in such a way that you can relate to a billionaire who dresses up as a giant bat at night. It takes a really good movie in order to pull that off! And I know some of you hate the fact that Batman sounds like he has throat cancer, but personally I don’t mind it. It’s there for a reason; to scare the seedy underbelly of Gotham to their core, and it works.

Gary Oldman plays Batman’s trusty partner in crime Lieutenant Gordon. Well, he’s Batman’s crime partner only in this movie since Robin is not included! As you expect from Oldman, a quality performance helps the audience sympathise with his character as he tries to correct the corrupt legal system and end the high octane mayhem. Aaron Eckhart also gives a good performance as you watch his character struggle to cope with the madness inflicted upon him and those he holds dearest.

But of course, this wouldn’t be a complete review if I didn’t talk about a certain actor’s iconic performance. Heath Ledger’s Joker. What else do you want me to say about this magnificent performance?! Seriously, there isn’t much I can add to the large amount of praise for Ledger’s oscar winning performance. But I will say that I’m a HUGE Batman fan and I can safely claim that the Joker that’s portrayed in this film is the perfect Joker. You don’t know his background, his real name is unknown and he doesn’t have any motives. As Michael Caine’s Alfred puts it, he is someone “who just wants to watch the world burn” His chilling chuckle sends shivers down my spine every time I hear it.

The Dark Knight has set a new precedent for all films being released nowadays. Not many films can sell an idea that’s as ridiculous as a vigilante dressed as a bat. And many films still can’t pull off the same realism inherent in this film. It’s completely in it’s own league and has yet to be matched. This is a truly immersive experience which I can very happily watch over and over again. Plus, it looks stunning on Blu-ray!

Fergie’s Final Fifteen:

Simply brilliant on every level. A true masterpiece of cinema. This is a MUST see!!

Rating:

A+

What else did you expect?!